To Choose Joy

Ever heard of a “winter season” in life? Think about winter in nature: it is the coldest season where animals hibernate, trees die and colors fade. In our personal lives,  we can explain it as a time and a season when things feel dark, lonely and sometimes even desolate. But the great thing about winter is that in just a little bit (regardless of how it feels), spring IS coming. We can lift our heads knowing that the flowers will bloom again and the sun will once again become warm.

Why blog about winter? Well, honestly lately the winter inside of me has felt just as real as the chilly winter outside of my door. Maybe you have gone through a winter season recently too? Maybe yours had to do with a relationship or finances or maybe even a family scenario. But for me, it all started a couple of weeks ago when I allowed other individuals to steal something so precious and important to me: my joy.

“This joy that I have, the world didn’t give it to me. This joy that I have – the world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away” 

Ha, an oldie but a goodie! But what Biblical truth this song declares. According to the Word of God, JOY is a fruit that we possess due to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It is a FRUIT that shows on the outside of our life – He who dwells on the INSIDE of our heart (Galatians 5:22-23). There is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is a temporal emotion that is based on circumstances and situations, whereas joy is found in the presence of God and is not based on what is going on around us. It is a supernatural fruit that enables us to overcome whatever we may face here on earth. Honestly, joy is kind of crazy: we feel it even though everything else around us says that we should not. (Feel free to let out an “Amen” right about now – God is SO GOOD!)

So, if joy is so special and God gave it to me so vitally, how then am I so easily robbed of it when I allow others to intervene? Well – just that! See, nobody can steal my joy without my permission. Seriously, that is like leaving a million dollars on the front  porch of my  house and wondering why it was gone when I got back. I practically handed it to the thief by not protecting it. Someone has only stolen our joy because we have allowed them to. They had no right yet we handed it over with ease. Well, at least I did anyway.

Here’s the problem with that: it never just ends there. Joy is the ability to overcome earthly situations and circumstances. So when we allow someone to steal our joy, that then carries over to allowing them to steal our gifts and talents. With no joy, we feel defeated and lost. When we live in this type of mentality – we then will not operate in our gifting because we feel insecure, hurt and offended.

Think of the example of gossip:

We are moving along in life, doing great things for God – loving others, working hard and serving wherever we can. Then someone says something about us that is not true. That thing goes from one person to another (gossip is like a wrecking ball and tears apart the closest of friends – Proverbs 16:28; Proverbs 26:20) and eventually comes back to our ears. As women created with more emotion than men, this hurts us and we find ourselves at a cross roads. The choice is up to us as to how we are going to deal with it yet SO MANY of us fall prey to the harmful (and most times untrue) words. We then begin to allow them to shape our very lives right in front of our face. This hurt begins to slowly and then more forcefully tug at our joy. Once we let our joy go, the next in line are our gifts and talents. We loose the voice that God has given us to speak to our generation because we choose to value the words of  human beings as more important than the words of God. And just like that, we find ourselves in a winter where the mornings seem dark, the days seem long and the atmospheres of our lives feel freezing. Gossip is just one small example of the large list of things that we can give permission to, to steal out joy. As I said before, maybe for you its a relationship, finances or even family politics.

If you are reading this sweet woman and it resonates in your heart, my prayer for you is that you would hold on to your joy. Joy is our ability to overcome everything and anything that we face here on earth in these tumultuous times. We cannot trade it for anything. It is our strength and our endurance! It is the very presence of God inside of us and we are more than conquerors because of it (Nehemiah 8:10).

Looking inward, what have you allowed to steal your voice? Why are you not doing the things God has called you to do? Is it because of this very thing? If so – today can be a new day for you. God can turn around in an instant what man has taken weeks to destroy. Get outside and start planting some seeds – spring is coming and in no time, the beautiful flowers of your life will be blooming again 🙂

It’s Okay

I got up this morning and had a house to clean, dishes to wash & a husband to make breakfast for. Everything in me wanted to collapse into a ball a cry -so, after a fight with the vacuum cleaner, (which I despise) that is just what I did. I lay in a pile on our living room floor – huffing, puffing & muttering the statement; “I don’t want to adult anymore.”

I WANT MY MOMMY!

Sometimes I feel like in life I can have a progression of very good days, and then one day, when I least expect it, I wake up not feeling happy, not feeling positive & certainly not feeling like leaving the refuge of our bed.

I need a little bit of Jesus. No wait, scratch that – I need A LOT of Jesus.

“I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” (Psalm 121:1 NLT)

Perspective. I am learning again and again that my sight is limited, but when I look up to Jesus, Who is my Help and also happens to be the Maker of the heaven and the earth – there is a whole new view point. There is nothing that we have to face alone. No problem too big or situation too difficult.

He has got me. It is okay. I am okay.

Do you need some time with Jesus today? I can guarantee that just a few minutes with Him can change your whole day. He promises that you can find rest in His presence – rest in the midst of emotions, business & challenges. I’ll take it, what about you?

[I just really needed some encouragement today, and I hope you did too. Thank you so much for reading today’s post! If you have not yet, please submit your email in order to receive notifications of new posts right into your inbox.]

Never Stop

4 years … that is the amount of time that I prayed for my future husband. I started when I was 16 years old – young, innocent & expectant. My notebook was filled with lists of desires and my heart was filled with excitement. I would pray. And when I say pray – I was probably more committed to my daily prayers for him than anything else. In fact, I think the future husband prayer featured higher than anything else at that point in time – I even remember thinking, “what am I going to pray for anymore after he comes?”. Like I actually thought that my life and my heart would be complete once this other special human walked into my life and had no plans to leave.

Oh no sister friend, anything but.

There is a term at Bible School that we were taught and it holds so much tried and tested truth – it goes: “another level, a bigger devil”- now, before you stop reading because you think I am referring to my husband as a devil, I’m not. What this term means is that as you get to a new level in life, the tests and the trials seem bigger, there seems like there is more to deal with and your character has to develop more. Don’t believe me? Think about it: when you get a promotion at work – you have more responsibility, greater challenges and more stressful deadlines than you did before the promotion. Same in a relationship – as you get further along, there is more to take into consideration and work on. Marriage looks a lot different to what dating did and dating looks a lot different to what being single looked like. There are new levels and we have to navigate them like the captain of a ship discovering new land.

Prayer helps us navigate

I came to the realization the other day that I don’t even nearly pray for my husband as much as I did when I was waiting for him and thanking God for him. Which is crazy, because I actually need to pray more now then I did then. We spend so much time praying for the things we want (and that is not wrong – because the Bible tells us to) but then when the blessing or the miracle happens … our prayers tend to stop. When actually it is when they need to be the deepest and the most detailed.

Being a newlywed, there are soooo many things that I am discovering – like how to be around someone 24/7, how to not let my emotions run our day and how to fight fair – but all these things are bound to become an entangled mess if I do not navigate through them with prayer. See, God knows my husband better than anyone else – He knows his heart, his desires & his shortcomings. God knows what he is thinking and feeling at all times of the day … I would be WISE to seek God on what to do instead of pestering and attacking my husband in the wrong way and probably encouraging WW3. We can save ourselves so much heartache and pain by lending an open ear to the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit.

Prayer is COMMUNICATION with God – its a conversation basically. And I don’t know about you, but I am not the kind of girl that enjoys a one-sided conversation. There is nothing worse than talking to someone (or not talking at all due to their lack of giving you a word in anyways) and you feel like you are being spoken at instead of to. Yet, so many times we find ourselves doing this to God. Our prayers go along the lines of beginning with “Heavenly Father”, and ending with “Thank You, Amen” – with our list of requests in between. Rarely do we stop, sit silently and allow Him to respond or even to initiate before we get going.

Prayer is so powerful – in fact the Bible even tells us:

“Never stop praying” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NLT)

Never stop praying can be interpreted: never stop communicating with God

So,

If you’re single – never stop praying

If you’re newly married – never stop praying

If you’ve been married for years – never stop praying

Wherever you are in life – never stop praying

My goal is to pray REGARDLESS of my circumstances – positive or negative. I want to navigate skillfully & successfully my marriage & life. Staying in constant communication with God about everything in my life, and I want to encourage you to do the same.

Prayer is powerful and necessary in every season – believe it.

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Good, Good Father

If I am honest, the past few weeks have been some of the hardest & darkest I have ever experienced. I can’t write too much about it at this point, but my entry into the US was not smooth and the green card process has been stretching for both Chad & I. I have felt like I was at the end of my rope, like there was no faith left to pull out of my faith box and like my joy was few and far between.

Isn’t it crazy that I have felt this way yet I still know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am dead set in the centre of the will of God? (If you haven’t had a chance yet, go read my blog post called Perfect where I was challenged to redefine the meaning of perfect here)

But do you want to know the most amazing part: through all the craziness, the tears and the stress – God doesn’t change. He is constant. He remains the same.

There is a song that I have literally had on replay for the past few days called “Good, Good Father” by Chris Tomlin, my favorite part goes like this:

“You’re a Good, Good Father. Its who You are. And I am loved by You. Its who I am.”

“Its who You are” – God is a Good Father. That is just WHO HE IS. When I think of what a good father is, I think of my natural dad. He is an amazing man who has always treated me with love and gentleness. His strength always made me feel safe and secure. Regardless what situation I came face to face with growing up, he never left me. How much more incredible is our Heavenly Daddy? Maybe you don’t have a natural father but I can promise you, when you run to the arms of your Daddy who is in Heaven – He is unlike any natural father no matter how wonderful they are.

“Its who I am” – I am loved by Him. Worried, anxious and stressed is not who I am. Those are momentary emotions that can fade just as quickly as they came. I AM LOVED. In the dark of the night when we feel like nobody hears our cries, the hurt and the pain – He does, and He loves us. He always has. And because I am loved – I am taken care of, I am safe and I am secure.

Daily, I have cried and asked God, “Why me? Why does life have to be hard? Why are these things happening? Why don’t I understand? GOD, WHY ME?” I have had moments when it feels like my heart is wrenching and that I am suffocating because of the deep cries that are emerging, yet even with my absolute inconsistency of emotions, His still consistent. He is still Good. I am still loved. With that kind of love, the storms of life can rage, but our heart and our life is safe & secure in the arms of our Good, Good Father.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever” (Isaiah 40:8 NKJV)

My prayer for myself and for you, is that regardless of what is going on in life, whether good or bad – that we would constantly remind ourselves of who He is. He is good. Momentary circumstances and situations can’t and will never change that.

Thank you Father that you show us your goodness, thank you that when we are weak and doubting, You remain strong and secure. Thank you that whatever situation we are facing, we can stand immovable because we are rooted and grounded in You – our firm foundation.

[Thank you so much for reading today’s post! If you have not yet, please submit your email in order to receive notifications of new posts right into your inbox!]

Chris Tomlin – Good Good Father (Audio)

Obsessed

“I’m always hungry” … “Argh I feel so fat” … “Wait, I’ll just have onnneeee more brownie and then be good from Monday” … “Oh my gosh, my double chin is showing, no more food for me!” If you’re a woman, one of these thoughts have more than likely gone through your head. Or if you’re me, all have gone through your head. Multiple times in a day. 

This isn’t a new thing for me, in fact I have had a constant battle with food since 2013 when I arrived in the USA and went to a weight that I had never been at before. See, all throughout my school years I had exercised, so food was never a issue for me. But take away the exercise and add a new country with its glorious Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream, Reeses peanut Butter Cups and Panera BREAD – and it becomes a whole different story. I gained so much weight and was honestly shocked after 6 months at what I had done to myself.

Now maybe you know me and you’ve seen pictures and you don’t really think I was “that bad” … which might be true in context. But what I know is that what is overweight for me may not be overweight for you, and visa versa.

The point is that for the last 3 years, my weight has been a battle, and by battle I mean obsession. I would loose weight, then put it on again, then eat healthy, and then stuff any sugar coated substance into my mouth without as much as a second glance. Every single day I woke up with the intention of “being good” that day but by the end of the day feeling heartbroken at the fact that I was not able to resist some form of yummy.

When I ate badly I felt guilty and when I ate healthy I felt deprived. 

I went back and forth between these feelings daily. Food began to consume me. I thought about it when I woke up, I planned my day around my meals and I went to bed at night thinking about what I ate and what I should do differently the next day. Obsession.

“You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3 NKJV)

One of my favorite Bible teachers of all time, Lysa TerKuerst, wrote a book called “Made to Crave” and it is all about her own personal struggle with weight. Conviction came to my heart so strong when she made the following statement:

“Food was never supposed to consume me. And if I was honest, when I would lay my head on the pillow at night, so many times, I evaluated my day not by how obedient I had been to God, but I evaluated my day by: what did I eat, what did I not eat, what did I weigh? And that was consuming so much of the mental real estate in my mind. I knew spiritually, changes needed to be made.”

It’s actually a  heart issue

See, I had made food a god, an idol in my life. I had unknowingly committed myself to serving it fully. How sick and twisted is that? But when you’re in it, it is hard to see that you are nothing more than a slave to a substance. I did in fact, measure the success of my day by how much or how little I had eaten, instead of by how obedient I had been to God.

I am not a doctor, and this post is 100% not about helping you create an eating plan. Because maybe the idol in your life is not food at all. Maybe for you its something completely different – maybe you struggle with something completely different. Maybe you struggle with an obsession with clothing and looking good, or maybe you struggle with a constant use of social media … whatever it is, if it is what you wake up thinking about and go to bed analyzing, you, like I was – are a slave.

But take heart my friend, it is not too late! Jesus came to give you life and life in abundance, it is the enemy who comes to steal, to kill and to destroy. A life of abundance means that nothing is missing. We will not be deprived. However, we still have to make the decision to act on the fruit of self-control and ask God to give us the strength to have victory over whatever area is controlling us. And He will! He is faithful. I had to make the decision that my life was God’s and I wanted His control. I had to make the decision that I was made to consume food (in the right way for my body), but it was NEVER made to consume me.

“But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!”” (Psalm 31:14 NLT) [Emphasis added is on my own.]

[Thank you for reading today’s post! If you have not yet, please submit your email in order to receive notifications of new posts right into your inbox. If you are struggling with constantly worrying about your weight, I encourage you to invest some time in listening to Lysa TerKeurst’s study which you can find here.]

A Christmas Miracle

It was the week of Christmas – you know, the time when everyone is hustling & bustling, last minute gift shopping & baking… my favorite time of year. But this year was different, instead of enjoying the summer weather on the beach with the sand between my toes with friends and family… I spent time in the tiled 4 walls of the bathroom. As gross as that sounds, it is honestly as gross as it was.

I was man-down. Somehow I had contracted what seemed to be Gastroenteritis (Gastro) and my body literally felt like a balloon that had been pricked – deflating fast. I have never been that sick in my life. Everything hurt and because I couldn’t keep any food in, my body was weak, dehydrated and I had no energy. I will never forget lying on the bathroom floor one night wondering if I was going to die. I remember crawling back into bed and all I could utter was the Name of Jesus.

“Oh Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me.”(Psalm 30:2 NKJV)

But I wasn’t getting better – I felt like I was getting worse. After 4 days both my parents & my husband were trying to take me to hospital, and I was resisting with everything. I was believing God for a miracle. (Now do not get me wrong, I am in full support of hospitals – I am personally just terrified of pain and specifically needles – so the idea of getting put on a drip gave me enough energy to resist.) Christmas eve came and as I stared at the ceiling of my bedroom, I knew this wasn’t right. I should be outside with my family, boating, swimming and EATING (hello, we wait all year for the Christmas goodies to come out!)

I went to bed that night, and I asked God for one thing: a Christmas miracle. I asked Him to work a miracle in my body as I slept (sleep…something I hadn’t done for the past week either).

God gave me a miracle.

 As I enjoyed the most restful night of sleep in a while, the Lord worked a miracle in my body. In the above Scripture, “healed” means: to repair, refresh and take care of. And that is what He did – He repaired, He refreshed and He took care of me. I woke up on Christmas morning feeling stronger than I had been in a long while. Now I still wasn’t ready to run a marathon (I am never actually ready to run a marathon ;))

…but I was healed.

I don’t know where in life you are or what you may be suffering with (it doesn’t even have to be a literal sickness, maybe it’s a broken heart?) – what I do know is that God is the Healer. Maybe you say that you have asked God for healing for yourself or maybe a loved one, and you haven’t seen a result. Well, I didn’t see a result immediately either … and some things I don’t understand but the fact remains, He healed me. I pray that your level of faith would utterly destroy any fear that you are facing & that you come to know Jesus Christ as your personal Healer. There is power in the Name of Jesus – not just to save, but also to heal.

Christmas day 2015 will forever be engraved in my heart as the year I didn’t just celebrate the birth of a Savior, but the birth of a Healer.

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I’m still here

You know at the end of an action movie when you see a person walking away with some kind of button in their hand, they push it and whatever is behind them (usually a car or building) dramatically blows up into flames? Yes? To be honest with you, sometimes I feel like ending a season that way…

Chad & I are in what I feel is the biggest transitional period of my life. I have come from Florida (where I had been for the past 2 years) home to South Africa for literally a year, to spend time with my family, intern at my home church and plan our wedding. Come January 5^th, my butt will be back on a plane as we set off to begin our new season in New York. So you understand what I mean when I say I am really in a transitional season.

Here’s where I went wrong (and I thank God for guiding me back on track) – my thinking was, “I just want to get to the end of this so my new season can start” – BUT, a season is STILL a season. Whether it is short, long or in-between – we are stewards of the gifts, talents and abilities that God has put on the inside of us as tools to be USED wherever He may call us for however long. When I look back on this year, as amazing as it has been, I truly do see missed opportunities, missed friendships & missed use of my potential. See, when you have a mindset of, “I’m leaving anyway” – you limit your investment in the place you’re at. This could apply to any area really – your last year of high school, last year of college, last year before you move somewhere etc.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” – Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV)

It doesn’t matter where we are in life – we are still a steward of our time. In other words – whatever we do with our time will be held in account before the Lord when we stand before Him one day. One of my friends put it so perfectly when she preached at youth on Friday, she said; “God didn’t “zap” us out of earth the moment we got saved – He left us here with breath in our lungs because we still have a plan & a purpose to fulfill for Him!”

 It’s tough to focus on today when we are so excited for tomorrow. But I am learning to delight in the fact that “This is the day the Lord has made. We (I) will rejoice and be glad in it (!).”

Let’s never leave a place with regret – but with a confidence that we did everything God asked us to, to our fullest potential.

The Dry Places

I don’t know about you, but there are times in my life where I find myself experiencing what I call a “dry place”. These dry places for me are times in my life where I feel down, battered and bruised. I feel tired and far from God. To be honest, I actually just feel done. These dry places are not very common but they are definitely not uncommon.

Sometimes you have a bad day. Sometimes you make a bad decision or sometimes you just feel like a bad person.

“Oh great, I messed up again…”

Generally speaking, when I have a bad day like this, its caused from a bad moment that I have carried into every situation of my life and have allowed it to effect every person I come into contact with. The last thing I feel is love and forgiveness – instead I sit around and mope feeling absolutely deflated.

This my friends, is the devil’s tactic. The reality of the situation is that condemnation pleases him as well as imposing guilt and shame. When we do something wrong (which is unfortunately more likely than not due to our human nature which we have to constantly work on) – we need to run to God and not away from Him! The Bible says that we need to repent and change, that our sins may be blotted out and we can experience times of refreshing that come from the presence of the Lord. (Acts 3:19)

God showed me recently that the reasons for the dry places I have been finding myself in lately, are actually very obvious: there is a lack of reading the Word and there is a lack of Prayer.

1. Reading the Word

The Word of God is our DAILY bread – we need to be partaking in its nutrients every single day in order to be spiritually fed. Like a rumbling tummy is a sign to people around you that you are hungry – the rumbling of our spiritual tummy can be heard by others in the forms of a nasty attitude, an uncontrolled tongue and a flaring temper.

2. Prayer

So important! Prayer is a two-way communication with God. When we stop praying, He doesn’t hear from us and we don’t stop to hear from Him. When I am in a dry place, sometimes I don’t want to speak to God – I feel like I don’t know what to say – but actually, its not about the words…it’s about the desperate heart behind the words. He sees, He hears and He loves regardless of circumstances.

How can I possibly feel refreshed, strong or like a victor if I am not mediating daily on what the Book of LIFE says about me? 

The dry places are a place of choice. I can allow them become a norm in my life and partake in their misery, or I can run full throttle into the arms of Lover of my soul, the Lifter of my head and Carrier of my burdens. The choice comes in our daily walk with God – am I getting into His Word daily? Am I speaking with Him daily? Am I letting Him speak? Am I being washed by the Word and refreshed by the presence of God in my everyday life?

I guarantee if I was doing this on a consistent basis everyday, I could prevent a dry moment from making a dry day a dry place.

“We are pressured in every way [hedged in], but not crushed; perplexed [unsure of finding a way out], but not driven to despair; hunted down and persecuted, but not deserted [to stand alone]; struck down, but never destroyed“

(2 Corinthians 4:8-9 AMP)

Run Baby, Run

It’s much easier to start then it is to finish.

 As of recent, I have started running with my mom. Not because I suddenly had a rush of blood to the head and thought it would be a good idea – but actually due to the fact that my mother (the little fitness machine herself) started to enter me into races with her. Um, what?! Anyway – rather than start WW3, I decided to take up the challenge and prove a point. So I started to run – my thought process was that if I run, I can still eat as much bread as I want until the wedding and not worry. Let me just emphasis that nearing the end of the run I didn’t care about bread, I didn’t care about being in shape for the wedding and I certainly did not care about the silly point I had to prove.

What I didn’t think during the time of sweat, stitches and complaining was that God would speak to me. But He did – and it wasn’t just a simple few words, it was what I consider as a holy download of a “now” Word.

He showed me how it is much easier to start then it is to finish.

The road seems to begin relatively smooth and easy…We start off fresh, full of zest on a new opportunity and see it as an exciting new adventure. We are so ready for everything that it has to offer and enthusiastically see all the positives of what the outcome could be.

But then a few bumps in the road start to occur…Nothing too serious. We navigate our way over them, still fueled by the fresh energy pumping through our veins and the positive attitude pumping in our heart.

But then the bumps become more frequent, and the hills seem to get steeper. The smile starts to fade from our faces as our calves start to hurt and our breath becomes shorter…Here’s the part when we start giving a second thought to our situation or circumstance. “Do we really want to do this?”, “This is much harder than I thought”, “Is this really worth it?”.

We can see the end is in sight…just a few more steps. We can do it but we feel out of breath, overwhelmed and struggle to overcome the temporary satisfaction of quitting with the desire to finish…This is usually when we quit. We just feel like our legs can’t carry us anymore, our hearts are weak and we have lost our joy.

If only we persevered, if only we realized we were almost there and if only we just endured… How true is this of life? Things happen that make us want to quit and give up everything we have worked for.

Whether we realize it or not – we are in the race of our lives. The key to running this race effectively and completely: Endurance.

Hebrews 12:1-2 – “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God” (KJV)

Let’s consider this:

• Many have gone before us and have finished their race successfully. They now sit in the bleaches of heaven cheering us on.
• There are things that make this race harder than it needs to be. Notice what they are and make the decision to throw them off (they are weighing you down anyway.)
• Instead of looking down and counting the mountains that we are climbing – let us look up to Jesus – the Author and the Finisher of our faith.
• Jesus endured – we can too.

What a triumph it will be to finish and not just to finish, but to finish well. This goes against the norm – society tells us that when things get tough, just give up, get offended and live in your bitterness. But Christ gives us the opportunity to instead live in victorious freedom by turning our trials in triumphs and tests into testimonies.

Jesus never said this life would be easy, but He said that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). The trials of life may seem to consume us in the moment – but they are nothing in comparison to the eternal glory at the finish line of our race. It is okay to trip and get a few bruises (in fact, its bound to happen)– as long as we get up, dust off the dirt and keep going.

Run Baby, Run.