A Love That Doesn’t Wait

One of the greatest privileges of the season we are in right now is pastoring some pretty incredible young adult ladies. Over the past 2 years it has been my joy to sit and hear so many wonderful stories from different girls as we’ve walked a road together. But often, as someone who tends to live her life with rigid lists and time blocks, the temptation to only be available for the needs of others when it is convenient has often opened at 9am and shut tightly at 5pm. After all, this is a job and those are my office hours, right?

Absolutely not.

“When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality” – Romans 12:13 NLT  

Jesus never had and still doesn’t operate on office hours – phew! I’m so thankful that I do not have to wait for my time slot in order to unravel before Him and curl up into His loving arms while I cry. He is always there for me, ready to embrace me and help me.

Now obviously I am not saying that we just never have time alone in our own homes with our spouse to just rest and have personal time, but I think as humans, more specifically as women, we have so much demanding our attention from so many different directions, that we very easily push away the gentle tugging of the Holy Spirit in moments that feel inconvenient. We realize that He is attempting to shine an awareness on someone that is desperate for some godly love and care, but our feelings often trump our obedience.

We get so busy with our lives that the lives of others seem insignificant and often just not worth our time. Let’s me be real; I don’t always feel like helping someone clean up their life, especially when deep down, I know mine is looking pretty messy.

But the above scripture doesn’t include time allocations and scheduling allowances. Instead, we are encouraged to “be ready to help” and “always eager” to “practice hospitality.” Why? Because a woman who feels like her life is falling apart doesn’t actually care if your hair is a mess and your kitchen has dishes in the sink – the fact that you made time to cook her breakfast in the midst of a hectic morning or make her a hot cup of tea while sitting at your kitchen counter, gently listening to her as she comes undone – shows more of God’s heart to her than anything else in that moment. In a single instant, your readiness to help and your joy to host her radiates just who Jesus is and models His very compassionate and tender character.

When we stand before God one day; our clean house, perfectly ironed clothes and color-coded planner for the year won’t be standing with us. The only thing we are taking with, are those people who we took the time to help grow in their walk with Jesus and are now living their lives serving Him.

This is always the goal. In all we do, we do it to please Him. This life is short – the dishes can wait, the laundry can wait, the dust bunnies behind the couch can wait. But our love, that perfect love on the inside of us from Jesus for others: that love can never wait.  

One Of Those Mornings

It was one of those mornings. You know, the ones where all of a sudden your clothes don’t fit like they should (so they find themselves sprawled all over the bed and floor basically being punished for what they have done to your self-image), your usually perfect eyeliner job is now a lopsided mess and your hair has a rebellious mind of its own. It was one of those mornings where you hear words and statements coming out of your mouth that you know full and well are so far from the truth; “I hate this,” “I hate myself today,” “I don’t even want to go to church anymore,” all while your helpless husband is staring at the hot mess before him and fumbling to try to assist in the wardrobe (but really life) malfunction.

It was one of those mornings that after sobbing the entire drive to church your husband agrees that you should go home and find something to wear that makes you happy (and by happy he meant that you need to take yourself home, TRY AGAIN and do not return until you have truly put yourself together).

It was one of those mornings, that only when I was alone in the car, just myself and the worship song that I had put on in an attempt to pull it together, that I realized I had completely outed the Holy Spirit from my morning.

I believe in Spirit-led living. Simply because that is what the Bible says. What does that mean you may be wondering? Well, the Holy Spirit is the part of the Godhead that lives on the inside of us. His job is to be our Comforter, our Teacher, our Guide and ultimately our very Best Friend. He is the One who reminds us what God’s Word says and how we need to apply it. He knows everything and He sees everything.

What we as women need to realize is that the Holy Spirit is NOT just for the “spiritual” things in life. Sometimes we compartmentalize so much that instead of giving Him full control – we shove Him into a box labeled “Anything to do with Christianity.” The problem with this is that our faith is not just for a Sunday – it involves and actually encapsulates every part of our life. It is who we are. With that being the case – He has the ability to assist us in EVERY part of our lives.

But back to the emotional and sad excuse of a presentable woman in the car:  

 It was only when I was in the quiet of the vehicle with nobody else around except the Holy Spirit that I realized how very present He was and how I had not even thought to consult Him throughout the entire morning episode. Want to know how much I believe the Holy Spirit desires to be involved in EVERY area of our lives? Well, when I finally quieted my restless heart, He began to minister to me right down to the very detail of what shirt I should grab to wear.

Ladies, I want to encourage you today that you have a Friend that wants the very BEST for you. Yes He is involved in the big things but He also cares about the details. This is not the first time He has done a job that I never knew He could do, in fact I have slowly learned to involve Him in everything – even decisions at the grocery store.  

We loose when we only allow Him to speak about things that we think have got to do with “church things.”  

Not to sound repetitive, but He sees, He knows and He cares. You are precious to Him and He desires to be involved in so much more than you think. We would save ourselves so much unnecessary drama if we just took a step back for a moment. If I had started my day off with, “Please give me wisdom in every decision I make today right down to my clothing choice,” maybe then I would not have had a morning fully proving the true craziness of an upset woman. Ha 😉

My prayer for you and I today is that we would allow the Holy Spirit freedom to rule in our hearts and our minds. To do what He needs to do, change what needs to be changed and ultimately shape us into the strong, stable and godly woman we were created to be. 

Replacing His with theirs

We all know that words hurt. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is high up on the list of untrue statements. Honestly, I think I would prefer a broken bone over a broken heart or spirit any day. The Bible talks many times about the power of words and just how they affect our lives both in the positive and in the negative. It’s one thing for words to hurt, and most times they will – but it’s another story when words begin to shape.

What do I mean by this? Well, people are always going to say things about us that either we don’t agree with or that are just ridiculously untrue. Those words once spoken (most times not even directly) are sent soaring towards us. Imagine an arrow that is shot out and is heading directly for you. It hits and it hurts. The pain of the stab most times will bring tears along with a throb of the wound.

But now we sit at a cross roads. Do we make up our minds to get the arrow removed and the wound healed? Or do we think, “No, I kind of like the look this sharp object gives protruding out of my body. I’ll just keep it situated.”

Sounds ridiculous right? Yes, but this is what we do with words that are sent our way. Once they’ve done some damage, instead of removing them (getting into the Word of God and seeing what He says about us) and getting the wound treated (praying, forgiving, seeking counsel from our pastor/leader) we allow the nastiness of the words to begin to shape our very being – who we are and what we believe about ourselves. This ultimately then begins to shape our world and our purpose.

When I look at it this way, it seems so silly! I want to be healed and whole – not scarred and broken. 

This only comes by the Word of God. When we replace what He says by what they say – we will never be confident, secure and steadfast. Just recently some statements were made about me that were completely untrue yet instead of running to God and diving into His book of Truth that spells out exactly who I am – I allowed these words to define me, they became who I felt I was when I first opened my eyes in the morning, how I approached life and how I viewed everything.

I used to envy my husband. People could say the most vile, atrocious things to him and he would not even bat an eyelid. He takes gossip and slander like water off a ducks back. HOW? What is his secret? I want to be like that (oh how I desire to be unaffected by the negative words of others!) Well, his secret is not really a secret: my husband knows exactly who His God is and what His Word says about everything. Therefore, when someone says something horrible about him, he takes it to the Word, measures it against it and walks away knowing that all that matters is what God says about him. After all, God knows the bigger picture, He knows His plan and purpose. People often speak from a mere circumstantial and often ignorant view.

Man! Why is this so easy to say but so difficult to walk out? Today is a great day to determine in our hearts that a change has to occur! My prayer for you and I today is that we would not replace His Words with their words, but that we would allow His Words to completely overshadow theirs. That His words of life, love and wholeness would shape our lives. After all,

“It is in Him [and in Him alone] that we live, move and have our being” – Acts 17:28 [Paraphrased]

I’m not Happy

“I’m not happy”

A phrase I have used multiple times throughout my life when things have not gone my way. The problem: happiness is merely an emotion. It is something that is based entirely on temporal circumstances and comes as quickly as it goes.

God created us as women to FEEL – we have emotions for a reason. Life would be bland if we went through it without being emotionally involved. However we were never created to go on daily emotional roller coasters starting out happy moving to a little irritated and ending in utter devastation.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” (Galatians 5:22-23 NLT)

Right now at Awaken Young Adults we are doing a series called “Growing Pains” which is focusing on the 9 Fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23. What exactly are the Fruits of the Spirit you may be wondering? Well just like the fruit of a tree gives evidence of what kind of tree it is, so the character in our lives give evidence of Whose we are. When we have these fruits (characteristics) evident in our lives, people know that we belong to God and are part of His family. The Holy Spirit on the inside us empowers us to love, empowers us to be patient etc. Just like any farmer knows, these fruits have to be cultivated (worked on) continually. Sadly no, we will not wake up tomorrow and instantly have the heart of Mother Teresa. It’s a process.

The fruit of focus this week has been JOY. What an interesting subject. We are living in a day and age where let’s be honest, there’s not MUCH to be joyful about. ISIS is provoking fear in multiple countries of the world, the family structure has been so broken down that fathers are absent and mothers are falling apart. Basically just scrolling down Facebook can leave you feeling negative, miserable and hopeless about life in general.

I have been a sucker to this for too long and I have decided to draw a line in the sand. I do not have to live like this. You see, JOY is a supernatural fruit that gives us the ABILITY TO OVERCOME. How and why? Well simply – JOY is harvested by our FAITH that has been cultivated by our PRAISE. When we praise God, we are expressing admiration – we are calling out how good He is, how faithful He is and how strong He is to act on our behalf. This builds our FAITH. Romans 10:17 says that faith comes when we hear the Word of God. The more we hear about the goodness of God and how much He already did by reading the stories in the Bible – the more we believe it. Supernatural (i.e doesn’t make sense to the natural mind) JOY occurs because we KNOW who our God is, we know WHAT He is capable of so that we can rest fully assured that He has our today and our future taken care of.

The battle is not ours when we allow Him to intervene. We already have the victory!

So now I can laugh and smile – even when the world is literally falling apart around me – because I know my God and I walk with Him. It takes something or Someone bigger on the inside of us to enable us to laugh when the situation or circumstance is contrary.

We don’t have to be dictated to by our emotions. They do not have to control us.

So today, I want to encourage you to begin by praising Him. Even if it goes against everything that is happening around you. When you begin to praise Him, you put Him in the driver’s seat of your life and your faith begins to rise. You are now standing in a place of full assurance that God will fight for you. Let the JOY of the Lord be your strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” (Proverbs 31:25 NLT)

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Buff my Heart

Do you know what I love and hate at the same time? A pedicure. Seriously – I love walking in, knowing that I’m about to get pampered…making the difficult choice between cherry red or pretty purple…settling into the comfy chair, just moments away from a back massage. Then what I despise comes into play: my feet being touched. I know it’s the most ironic situation but I can’t help it! I do not respond well to fingers connecting with my feet. BUT for the sake of sandals, I persevere. The worst part of the experience (but most necessary after a winter of socks and boots) is getting the gross callouses of my heels buffed. As agonizing as having someone rub a rough sponge on my heels while gripping my feet is, I do it because I like to slip my feet between my husbands for warmth at night, and let me tell you, they better be as soft as a baby’s bottom.

Anyway… moving on…

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart” (Ezekiel 36:26 NLT)

The Bible talks about our heart as being the source of our entire life (Proverbs 4:23) and especially as women we know this is true. When we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, He took out the heart of stone (the heart that was hard and bitter towards the things of God) and He replaced it with a heart of flesh (a heart that is soft and responsive to Him and the voice of the Holy Spirit).

Our goal is to guard this soft heart so that nothing can harden it.

This is a tough thing. Especially as women, because we are so much softer when it comes to hurts, pains and rejections. When others hurt, we hurt. When other hurt us, we hurt even more.

So let’s bring this back to the joy of pedicures. Just like our feet, I am learning that we have to buff our hearts. See things happen; some that we can control and some that we can’t, some come out of nowhere and some are disappointments due to unfulfilled expectations. Regardless of the situation, we have to work extra hard to keep our hearts soft, because over time they can become full of hard, rigid and stubborn callouses.

So what do we do? We grab our hearts and we buff away immediately when something threatens to harden it. Our sponge is the truth of God’s Word and the sweet ministry of the Holy Spirit.

Really, we need to be more focused on the callouses of our hearts then the callouses of our heels. Just like scary looking feet ruin the cutest pair of summer shoes – a hurt and offended heart ruins the sweet, nurturing character of a woman.

We can do it, we can guard our hearts by taking everything to God in prayer, bringing it into line with the Word and honestly, crying out and asking the Holy Spirit desperately for His help – which never fails to arrive. We need only to listen.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT)

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Pinterest Picture Perfect

Yesterday a message was preached at church that is not popular or favorable in today’s day & age. Actually, I don’t think it has EVER been a popular message. But its importance runs deep and its consequences are eternal: idolatry.

I have referred to this subject in a past blog on issues with food [here] but yesterday, I did some heart digging and soul searching and I came to recognize from the light of the Holy Spirit another area in my life that needs refocusing:

My idea of a Pinterest picture perfect life

Oh won’t this just open up a can of worms. So let’s just be straight: as women, we want our lives to look as good as our Pinterest boards: flawless daily make-up, home decor worthy of a magazine and of course a relationship/marriage that meets every “relationship tumblr” (that is not a spelling mistake by the way) out there.

But are we so obsessed with this picture perfect life that we aren’t actually living? Or on the other hand, when our lives don’t seem to be going according to our latest pins on our boards – do we melt down into a puddle on the floor, gasping for air between heavy sobs? Been there, done that, terrible experience.

I don’t want to be that woman! But it is so easy to be! We so desire to put out this wonderful image – when you & I both know we are gritting our teeth behind the seemingly sweet smile. Sound familiar? If not, that’s okay and I take my hat off to you. If you do resinate with what I am saying – sister, we are in the same boat.

Here’s the kicker: does this perfect life that I am aspiring to model line up with the Word of God? Or even more directly, does this idea of a perfect life consume so much of my heart, mind and time that I am not even getting into the Word of God? This is a major problem because anything that we put before or hold up higher than God, is an idol in our lives. And God is very clear in His Word about how He feels about that. In fact, let’s look at it:

“You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods” (Exodus 20:4 NLT – emphasis added)

This jealousy that God has for us is not the ugly kind that we know of in humanity – but it is a righteous jealousy. He is so passionate about us and loves us so much that He will not tolerate our divided affection. I don’t want my attention to be divided anyway – I serve a living God – who can heal me, who can love me and who can save me. Last time I checked, my make-up didn’t heal a physical ailment that I had in my body, the decor in my home didn’t make me feel loved when I had a bad day and my husband certainly is not the one who took me out of the darkness of sin and into the light of salvation. Jesus, and Him only.

Whatever I serve is where I find my worth

 My worth is not in my appearance (because honey, my weight struggle is way too unpredictable), my worth is not in my home (it could be gone in an instant) and my worth is not found in my husband (he does not complete me in any way, he is an ADDED blessing to the foundation already laid by my completeness in Jesus Christ). So I challenge you to ask yourself today, “where am I finding my worth?” And I pray its in Jesus because everything else is temporary and will fade away.

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Navigating V-Day

I used to hate Valentines Day … actually let me rephrase that, I still to this day have a strong dislike for the the day AND I’M MARRIED. How bizarre right? You would think that I would be counting the days to February 14th and drooling over all the “lovey dovey” displays in stores. Not really. Now I am not heading up the “I hate Valentines club” – not even close, in fact I woke up to a early gorgeous bunch of roses from my hubby this morning. But the truth of the matter is that whether you will admit it or not, this is a rough day for many.

I remember during High School how disappointing the day always was. Even though there was no one special in my life – my heart was still filled with hope that maybe, just maybe a beautiful red rose would be delivered to my doorstep. It never did, and that’s okay. But we make such a big deal of this day – and when there is a lack of attention, our self-worth takes a dive & we feel totally alone. You know I’m telling the truth! As a young woman, everything in us wants to take part in it somehow – we desire to be loved, taken care of and spoiled.

But receiving a Valentines really doesn’t determine our worth. 

Yet we still let it. One of the greatest problems in young relationships today is that our dating/marriage manual is generally a romantic Hollywood movie. We watch as the girl is swept off her feet, laid gently on a bed of roses while soft instruments are strummed in the background. The perfect relationship to us is one that is just that: perfect. We set unrealistic standards that leave us feeling deprived, under-appreciated & disappointed. I am not trying to bash Valentines Day, not at all – but lets be honest, this is the day that we set our hearts on – hoping, wishing that the man in our lives will perform to the standard that we have set. When they don’t, our hurt leaves them feeling not good enough – it’s a vicious cycle. It really is crazy, it is the one day of the year we tend to FORGET all the other amazing things he’s done and act like this is the day he “better get his act together.”

I am guilty of this. I tend to forget that he consistently shows his love for me – through dates, gifts and little thoughtful acts of service, and act as though I have been waiting for this day to finally come and be “WOW’ed!”

Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointments. 

If you’re single, please don’t think that “if only I were in a relationship this day would be so much better” – you know, maybe it would be, but honestly it is one day of the year and it certainly does not determine your worth as a woman. If you’re feeling sad and lonely – consider that there are other girls feeling the same way – why don’t you make the decision to bring love to them? Who said you can’t be a great friend by giving away some beautiful roses or having a girls night and trying out a new restaurant. HAVE FUN! I spent way too many days disappointed with what I thought was a lack of love.

If you’re married, let’s do our best to not base the success of our marriage on this day. Let’s not forget that he is a wonderful husband and everything he already does is a gift of love, service & adoration. We do not have to sit and feel robbed. I made the decision this year that I am going to be thankful for him –  just for having him. My goal is to ask God to show ME how I can love him better, serve him better and just be a better wife for him.

We CAN navigate through this day successfully and happily – all we have to do is make the decision to give love instead of wait for it to be given. 

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Obsessed

“I’m always hungry” … “Argh I feel so fat” … “Wait, I’ll just have onnneeee more brownie and then be good from Monday” … “Oh my gosh, my double chin is showing, no more food for me!” If you’re a woman, one of these thoughts have more than likely gone through your head. Or if you’re me, all have gone through your head. Multiple times in a day. 

This isn’t a new thing for me, in fact I have had a constant battle with food since 2013 when I arrived in the USA and went to a weight that I had never been at before. See, all throughout my school years I had exercised, so food was never a issue for me. But take away the exercise and add a new country with its glorious Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream, Reeses peanut Butter Cups and Panera BREAD – and it becomes a whole different story. I gained so much weight and was honestly shocked after 6 months at what I had done to myself.

Now maybe you know me and you’ve seen pictures and you don’t really think I was “that bad” … which might be true in context. But what I know is that what is overweight for me may not be overweight for you, and visa versa.

The point is that for the last 3 years, my weight has been a battle, and by battle I mean obsession. I would loose weight, then put it on again, then eat healthy, and then stuff any sugar coated substance into my mouth without as much as a second glance. Every single day I woke up with the intention of “being good” that day but by the end of the day feeling heartbroken at the fact that I was not able to resist some form of yummy.

When I ate badly I felt guilty and when I ate healthy I felt deprived. 

I went back and forth between these feelings daily. Food began to consume me. I thought about it when I woke up, I planned my day around my meals and I went to bed at night thinking about what I ate and what I should do differently the next day. Obsession.

“You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3 NKJV)

One of my favorite Bible teachers of all time, Lysa TerKuerst, wrote a book called “Made to Crave” and it is all about her own personal struggle with weight. Conviction came to my heart so strong when she made the following statement:

“Food was never supposed to consume me. And if I was honest, when I would lay my head on the pillow at night, so many times, I evaluated my day not by how obedient I had been to God, but I evaluated my day by: what did I eat, what did I not eat, what did I weigh? And that was consuming so much of the mental real estate in my mind. I knew spiritually, changes needed to be made.”

It’s actually a  heart issue

See, I had made food a god, an idol in my life. I had unknowingly committed myself to serving it fully. How sick and twisted is that? But when you’re in it, it is hard to see that you are nothing more than a slave to a substance. I did in fact, measure the success of my day by how much or how little I had eaten, instead of by how obedient I had been to God.

I am not a doctor, and this post is 100% not about helping you create an eating plan. Because maybe the idol in your life is not food at all. Maybe for you its something completely different – maybe you struggle with something completely different. Maybe you struggle with an obsession with clothing and looking good, or maybe you struggle with a constant use of social media … whatever it is, if it is what you wake up thinking about and go to bed analyzing, you, like I was – are a slave.

But take heart my friend, it is not too late! Jesus came to give you life and life in abundance, it is the enemy who comes to steal, to kill and to destroy. A life of abundance means that nothing is missing. We will not be deprived. However, we still have to make the decision to act on the fruit of self-control and ask God to give us the strength to have victory over whatever area is controlling us. And He will! He is faithful. I had to make the decision that my life was God’s and I wanted His control. I had to make the decision that I was made to consume food (in the right way for my body), but it was NEVER made to consume me.

“But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!”” (Psalm 31:14 NLT) [Emphasis added is on my own.]

[Thank you for reading today’s post! If you have not yet, please submit your email in order to receive notifications of new posts right into your inbox. If you are struggling with constantly worrying about your weight, I encourage you to invest some time in listening to Lysa TerKeurst’s study which you can find here.]

Grey-Haired Wisdom

Well, I am officially a married woman! (It’s so strange saying it!) The past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind of family, wedding & honeymoon – and I have loved it! Our wedding was absolutely beautiful, but I am thankful the pressure is over & I can delete my wedding Pinterest board. (Lol ;)) Marriage has been so much fun – it is like having a slumber party with your best friend every night! We are already learning a lot every single day – about God, about each other & about life – and I know it’s just the beginning.

You know, being young and getting married has always been a desire of my heart. I have always wanted to be a young wife and grow, learn & adventure with my husband. But with that desire, came a responsibility – the responsibility of being teachable and willing to learn, the responsibility of lending my ear to the wisdom of older and more mature women in my life.

The Word speaks in Titus 2 of the duties of the older and younger, and specifically teaches us as women that:

“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” (Titus 2:4-5 NLT)

This shows us, as young wives, that we need to do ourselves (and those around us) a favor and LISTEN to what the older women are saying! And these are not just any women – but they are older women who live lives honoring God, who do what is good and who have many years of loving their own husbands and children, that they are able to train someone else.

I love to study the Word – and one of my favorite things to do is to look up the scriptures in their original language. So, I went straight to the Greek and here is what I found:

The word TRAIN (found in the above scripture) is the word: sóphronizó which means to “recall one to his senses; admonish.” This word is talking about how to live life with what God defines as “true balance” – it is actually emphasizing older women passing on what the Lord reveals is “true balance”. Now if you’re wondering why we as young women need to learn how to balance – just go ahead and read the list of things Paul is exhorting us to do (and to do well) in the above scripture, ensuring that we do not bring shame on the Word of God. Talk about some pressure!

(I know this is kind of overwhelming, but just stick with me – we are going somewhere…)

The second word LOVE – is the word philandros. This word is speaking of “the special affection of a woman for her life-time mate (husband), embracing him as her “calling” (stewardship) from God.”

WOAH – hang on a second – I am called to be a steward of my marriage to my husband. Maybe you’re sitting there like, “duh!” – but this is quite a revelation to me, because it puts our relationship into perspective. Being a steward of something means that God requires effort & work from me as I will one day stand before Him and give an account of what I did with this treasure. I NEED HELP! (I am young, I have so much to learn, this is a serious thing!!) But of course, God already knew this which is why He through Paul gave a duty for the older women to fulfill – for them to train us, demonstrate how they effectively balance the many tasks in a day and encourage us to love & serve our men.

As young women in todays fast paced generation, I think we are quick to dismiss an older woman’s advice as “annoying” or “old-fashioned” but what we need to realize is that we are actually causing ourselves an injustice.

Last night, I was sitting and chatting with my Nanna. We got onto the topic of Chad & I’s honeymoon, where after discussing a couple of things, my Nanna was able to give me advice and encouragement. Now my Nanna and Grandpa celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary this year – so I am pretty confident she knows what she’s talking about! While I am super (and I mean SUPER) thankful for my younger married friends who can share advice and encouragement, I am even more thankful for the older women who speak into my life. Do you want to know why? Because they have built something – a successful, godly, loving marriage. For me, as someone who has not built anything yet, what they have to say is wisdom and precious gems to be put in the treasure box of my heart.

If you are young and you are reading this, regardless of being married or getting married or still dating – I encourage you to make the effort to lend an ear to older women who you see as godly examples – women of maturity and character. We can learn much from their lives and save ourselves heartaches and frustrations in the future.

If you are older and reading this – I pray that you wouldn’t keep quiet. I pray that you would see your journey as a testimony and a message that can help a younger woman in her journey.

I love God and His Word – I love that He is a God of order which He also requires in the Body of Christ. His desire is for us to live abundant lives…all we have to do is be obedient to His instruction! Don’t ever despise the grey-haired wisdom – it has years of substance behind it. 

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2 Weeks, 14 Days … & counting

As I sit here, tea in hand & laptop on my lap … it is exactly 2 weeks until our wedding. I can’t believe it! I’ve waited for this for what seems like forever and its finally here – and it seems unreal. I have always been a sensitive person, but I don’t think I have ever been this emotional in my life – I cry ALL THE TIME. I could never understand when I heard young women saying “I can’t wait for our wedding day to be over” – I thought they were crazy! But now I understand, and its not for any other reason than the fact that lying on a paradise island beach , with your new husband lying next to you & not one thought of possible guest cancellations, music mistakes or weather worries blowing up your brain – sounds absolutely blissful. 

I decided to write about some of the fun because for me writing is a release and for you reading this, will get a good laugh … one of my favorite things about personal blogging 🙂

Soooooo…

1. They say its your wedding, but to most it really isn’t – Okay lets be real – I have been told SO many times that its my wedding … but my wedding is no longer my wedding when my choices are not fan favorites. Ha ha, now I don’t want to offend anyone (I love you Mom 😉 ) but this is a real thing! There is butting heads over the most bizarre stuff – like really, who knew that wanting to “sway” for our first dance instead of waltz would be like saying that we were going to feed our guests poison instead of food: simply unacceptable.
2. Ahh that brings me to my next point: dance lessons – If you are looking for a different form of pre-marital counseling – I would totally advise this extra-curricular activity, if not, avoid it like the plague. Yes I am being dramatic but this was a horrific experience – see, I LOVE dancing, I always have, but my fiancé despises it with everything in him – thus, when he failed to spin me flawlessly around the dance floor as our dance instructor demonstrated, after one too many glares & a couple of bruised toe hits, I told him that he could go sit in the car (It’s actually quite embarrassing now that I write it down.)
3. They said there would be pressure, but I didn’t realize that the pressure would transform me into a fire breathing dragon – Now this is not an excuse…but boy, have I had some bad days and moments. Some days I feel like a good person who cultivates the fruit of love, and other days I feel like my head may just possibly explode into millions of tiny flaming pieces (At this point I remind myself about the island…about the beach…about the ocean…)
4. “Babe, you can do whatever you want” were Chad’s exact words when we started planning our special day – AWESOME *fist pump the air* – but they were short lived. I could do whatever I wanted until my color choice of the guys suits apparently endangered the well-being of his groomsmen… then I could no longer do whatever I wanted. At then end of the day this is okay, because this really is his wedding too. Fact: I would not be a bride unless he had proposed, thus the man is entitled to an opinion.

I hope you’ve had a good laugh at my expense 😉 Hey, you’ve either been there, you’re in it right now or your time is coming. Or maybe you have had a totally different experience. Either way, planning a wedding is nothing short of an adventure.

There are so many emotions as I think about being a “Bride to be” – am I going to be a good wife? What is it going to be like to live with another person? Will I still have butterflies in 10 years time? A few nights ago, we were sitting watching a movie and my dad turned to me and said the most profound statement I will never forget. He said, “The only thing you need to do, is CHOOSE to have a happy marriage.” These words have deeply impacted me and are changing the way I view everyday – am I choosing joy? Or am I allowing frustrations, stress & worries rob me from enjoying this season to its fullest capacity.

These things that I’ve written about are not in any way supposed to make planning a wedding sound terrible – they are actually the things that I can see now have brought much needed humor and to be honest, life lessons. There is definitely a ton pressure in this new season of life, but God’s Word really is my daily bread, He has blessed me with a gift who makes me laugh & reminds me every day why I want to marry him, family that has given me the wedding of my dreams and friends who have made the road so much fun.

And for all of these reasons, December 4th 2015 is going to be our best day yet! 

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